A bunch of my writings are on helium.com now, so I'm asking y'all to take a look

I've switched over to publishing on Helium.com, so you might want to check out my work there.  I'm only going to be publishing the odd update here and there, about once a week on Fridays, and it will have all of my content, so as my flists change, and new people come, you can see some of my old work.  I'll cull the list once in a while so that people don't get bowled over with the same old shite.

What is Helium.Com?  It's a new way of marketing writing to people.  If you want an invite, just drop me a note at caroline_AT_carolineatigeress_dot_com with a *nospam* or *helium* in the header and I'll set you up (and yes, I get a minor kickback, no lies, full disclosure).  I've already started making some small amounts of residual income from them, and I know I have a lot of writers and poets on my list.  They have a marketplace, awards system, contests.  It seems to be very upfront and hassle free.  No adult content, and they try to get a good quality of writing

Anyway, here's what I've got so far:

Fiction:

Short Stories: Horror
http://www.helium.com/items/1338548-short-horror-stories

Short Stories: Adventure Stories for young children
http://www.helium.com/items/1338541-childrens-adventure-and-mystery-stories

Short Stories: Mystery Stories for children:
http://www.helium.com/items/1338531-childrens-detective-stories

Short Stories: Dog Stories for children.
http://www.helium.com/items/1338524-childrens-dog-and-detective-stories

Short stories: Struggle
http://www.helium.com/items/1308091-the-redemption-of-thomas-mcmann

Short stories: Superheroes
http://www.helium.com/items/1307336-science-fiction-super-hero



Poetry:

The Ocean
http://www.helium.com/items/1338581-poetry-ocean-sea

Insanity
http://www.helium.com/items/1338572-poetry-madness-insanity

Beyond Existing
http://www.helium.com/items/1338570-poetry-existance

Shadows
http://www.helium.com/items/1338565-poetry-shadows

Poetry: My pain
http://www.helium.com/items/1329095-poetry-about-a-sprained-ankle

Poetry: When it rains
http://www.helium.com/items/1329042-poems-about-rain

Poetry: Debt
http://www.helium.com/items/1329034-poems-about-debts

Poetry: Gossip
http://www.helium.com/items/1329023-poetry-about-laughing-and-jealousy

Poetry: Winter forests
http://www.helium.com/items/1328911-poems-about-winter-trees

Poetry: Phone calls
http://www.helium.com/items/1328903-poems-about-phones-and-voice-mail-and-waiting

Poetry: Anger
http://www.helium.com/items/1328896-poems-about-anger-and-rage

Poetry: Drinking
http://www.helium.com/items/1322152-the-cycle-of-alcoholism




NonFiction / Essays / other writings:

Creating a backdrop to a picture in watercolor medium:
http://www.helium.com/items/1337007-basic-background-techniques-in-watercolor

Tips for learning easy magic tricks:
http://www.helium.com/items/1336971-magic-tips-for-the-beginner

Essays: Self reflection
http://www.helium.com/items/1329861-gremlins-in-our-tech


How to write compelling web content
http://www.helium.com/items/1329794-writing-top-notch-web-articles

Using real people as models for fictional characters
http://www.helium.com/items/1329765-using-real-characters-and-events-to-build-stable-fictional-worlds

What you need to know about allergies to bees
http://www.helium.com/items/1329733-how-bee-sting-allergies-effect-the-body


10 things you can do in the library that will really annoy the other patrons
http://www.helium.com/items/1322790-ways-to-annoy-library-patrons

Does Kellogg's promise to only promote nutritious food to children during Saturday morning cartoons signal a significant trend in nutrition awareness?
http://www.helium.com/items/1322308-why-we-should-boycott-kelloggs-products

How smoking affects the nervous system
http://www.helium.com/items/1322281-smoking-effecting-the-nervous-system

Teaching children ethics
http://www.helium.com/items/1319807-children-ethics-education-example-ghandi

How corporate farming impacts the environment
http://www.helium.com/items/1317612-corporate-farming-enviromental-effects

Easing back in to "reality" after a vacation
http://www.helium.com/items/1316790-overseas-travel-decompression-getting-back-into-your-life

Are people who draw anthro (anthropomorphic) characters fetishists or artists?
http://www.helium.com/items/1309762-furry-fandom-paraphilia-fetish

So anyway, if you're a writer, check it out, and if you want to write there, please let me know.  I think it's well worth your time, and kind of exciting to watch the whole thing unfold.  I've only been seriously working on it for a couple of weeks now, so next week, I'll shoot you an update. 

Thanks for listening!

Caroline

P.S.

If you're already on Helium.com, drop me a note, my user profile is here:
http://www.helium.com/users/23615

I'll add you to my +flist there.  Take care all!

Writer's Block: Nature Gone Wild

Field mice always sleep facing northwest. Kangaroos can't walk backwards. Female hyenas have penises. Let's face it, nature is weird. What's the strangest thing you know about the animal kingdom?
Homo Sapiens thinking they are the center of the fucking universe and getting the facts of Hyena Anatomy correct would be terribly nice.

Police Car Meme!

If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I was arrested for?

Answer me, then post this in your own journal to see how many different crimes you get accused of committing.

New Zine in the making!

A Call for Submissions...

 

It seems to me that this has been overdue for a long time. That or I've been watching the AMC Halloween marathon (again).

 

I'm starting a collaborative zine entitled BITE ME:The Zine of Cannibalistic literature. Yep, you heard me. If you've ever wanted nuvelle cuisiene, od'ed on Motel Hell, or draw zombie comics, I'd like to hear from you.  Movie reviews, cheap thrills, and recipies are encouraged!

 

Seriously. Honestly. It's going to be fun. Really.

 

caroline@carolineatigeress.com

Pure Zombie Goodness

Okay so...

 

The kitten has been bugging me with her favourite ten year old joke as of late...

 

“What do Vegan Zombies say?” Graiiins.... Graiiiiins...

 

You get the idea.

 

Now at a certain point in my little schizoid mentality, I was a fluff girl for a pretty damned good tourney scrabble player. She'd warm up on me and then go kick literature butt. Part of my training with her is to look at words, and see iterations. So of course, my mind went into overdrive last night and um, well this just isn't pretty, according to the kitten...

 

What does the construction worker zombie say? Cranes.... Cranes...

 

What does the plumber zombie say? Drains... Drains...

 

What does the Art Student Zombie Say? Frames... Frames...

 

What does the Masochistic Zombie say? PAIIIN... PAIIINE... (could also be the glasier zombie, I suppose). Such a zombie might also say Maiim... Maiiiim...

 

What does the messy Zombie Say? STAAAIN... STAAAins....

 

What does the Engineer Zombie Say? TRAAAAINS.... TRAAAAIIIINS...

 

What does the tropical storm zombie say? RAAAINS.... RAAAIIIIINS...

 

What does the x-box fanatic zombie say? Games.... gaaaiiimes...

 

What does the Kinko's Employee (albiet, not necessarily needing to be a Zombie to work for kinko's, but it doth help). Saaaame... Saaammme... (may also be applied to McCain voters)

 

What does the Lesbian Zombie Say? DAMES... DAYYYMES...

 

What does the Bondage Zombie Say? CHAINS... CHAAAIIINS...

 

What does the Contrite Zombie say? SHAAAAME... SHAAAAAAme...

 

What does the Zombie who's tired of all these jokes say? Lame... Laaaaame...